Breastfeeding- Coming Clean

We’ve entered into week 3 of the 5 Moyers (Macon counts, right?!).

macon

This is when he was our one and only.  Can you tell he’s amused?

So things have really changed around here.  I was initially ashamed to admit this because I know it’s NOT the GOLD STANDARD and it’s NOT what everyone is doing… but now I realize it’s the best choice for little Miss S so I’m standing strong behind my decision.

BREASTFEEDING

I’m all dried up… sorry for the men reading this.

Let’s backtrack.  With Gentry, I wasn’t producing nearly enough and she wasn’t even in the 1% on the weight chart for the first 3 months of her life.  The lactation lady made me try EVERY SINGLE THING UNDER THE SUN (so if you need suggestions, just ask) but nothing worked.  She eventually told me to give it up.  I had no choice.  And the second I did, Gentry plumped up onto the 25% on the weight charts… woot woot!

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With Sutton, I was proactive.  I started pumping after every feeding in the hospital, taking Brewer’s Yeast and eating lots of healthy fats (yum).  However, when we got home from the hospital, pumping with a 2 year old after every feeding (or anything feeding for that matter) was a no-go.  But, I didn’t feel my supply dropping.  In fact, Sutton gained great weight.

Like I mentioned in my first update… I LOATHE breastfeeding.  There is NOTHING natural about it to me, but, being the nutrition specialist that I am, I knew that his was the best thing for her.  So, I kept hating every single one of the 9+ feedings a day.  Finally, I had enough reserve to start feeding her a few bottles when Justin was home and I pumped.  Sutton decided the bottle was far less work than the boob, so she started whaling every time I tried to nurse her.  She wouldn’t eat, she just screamed GIVE ME THE BOTTLE.  No, really.  Moyer girls are advanced … or lazy!

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It didn’t take much to convince me to just go straight to the bottle.  But, again, pumping with a 2 year old = impossible for me.  So after much research, we are switching Sutton to Earth’s Best organic formula.

Yes, it’s going to be more expensive.  Yes, it’s not the “gold standard.”  It is (from what I’ve found) the closest formula to our breastmilk (made from whey proteins vs casein) and it’s organic.  We fed Gentry Enfamil, which had a God-awful smell to it.  This actually smells good… ok not good, but neutral.

The guilt I feel… yes I am embarrassed that I only made it three weeks this time around nursing.  Yes I am embarrassed to pull out powder and mix when I see all my friends nursing and having no issues.  Yes I am embarrassed to admit me (the nutritionista) is feeding my daughter something genetically engineered.  Yes I am scared to tell the doctor that I’ve switched over.  Yes I am annoyed to clean all those bottles.

But I’m posting this in an effort to be UNembarrassed about these things.  Breast is best, but it’s not the only thing we provide our infants.  There are so many other important things I feel like I can actually look forward to doing now that I’m not dreading every 2-3 hour feeding.  Happy mama = happy kiddos.

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Not to mention, the grandmas LOVE being able to help out in this department.

 While I’m not advocating ditching the boob, I am advocating being OK with it.  We have too many pressures in life as moms, as long as we are nourishing our babies, that doesn’t need to be another one of them.

Now, please kindly remind me of this as I head onto the next 11+ months of formula feeding in a world of breasters!

How do you feel about breastfeeding?

If you use formula, which one?

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23 thoughts on “Breastfeeding- Coming Clean

  1. Jennifer says:

    Emma, thanks for your vulnerability in sharing on this topic. You are Sutton’s mama, and you know what’s best for you, her, and your family. You’re doing a great job! I know so many women are letting out a sigh of relief after reading this!

  2. Marie says:

    You’re doing what’s best for you and your family. No shame in that. I’m sorry you are struggling with the decision though. I personally loved breastfeeding but that doesn’t mean I have the right to expect every other mom to feel the same way. I did absolutely hate pumping. I could never get it to work. Maybe my pump was too cheap. I don’t know. But in the end us mothers do what needs to be done. And that’s what you’re doing. Growing a human. And you’re awesome at that.

  3. Carrie says:

    Breast milk= food
    Formula= food

    Same deal. I feel strongly about even and very blessed to be able to nurse my two for 20+ months each. But you know, I basically got harassed when people found out I went past age one nursing. I honestly felt though, does it make a huge difference?? I mean those 12 points on the IQ scale… Having hubby be able to get up at night and give a bottle sounds awesome to me. Do what is best for you and honestly do you need to tell the pediatrician. If they asking how nursing is going, say she is eating fabulously.

  4. milesandblessings says:

    Oh this is SO me 12 years ago and 10 years ago :). I wanted to breastfeed really bad and I had a friend who had a baby at the same time and it was so easy for her and it was sheer torture (literally) for me…and then there is the mom guilt. I stopped and felt SO much better, but at the same time felt guilty too. Now that I am so far removed from it I do wonder what there was to feel so guilty about. My girls are growing, healthy smart girls and it was the right decision for me. You have nothing to feel bad or embarrassed or ashamed about! We are all different people and what works for one person may not work for another and that is OK and definitely does not make you any less of a GREAT mom!!!! I am excited to try to a meet up at Richmond!!!!

  5. Jade says:

    I used to be a judger before I had my first and until you are in the situation that you have to chose between the two, people will always judge. (Like one of my co-workers had many comments that were not nice and not needed as she figured if you lost your milk it is because you didn’t do something right and that is not it at all!) Like above commenters, formula is food, sure yes sucks it is manufactured but at least we have it as an option. You need to do what is best for you and your family.

  6. Shelley says:

    Don’t feel bad about breast feeding not working. I never produced milk at all either of my pregnancies so I had no choice but to use formula. At least now grandparents, sibling and dad can help feed her.

  7. Deb says:

    I’m totally a cow, and I’m OK with it! I realize that my body does something that some aren’t able to do, and I never judge a woman for feeding their child. I was blessed with a content two-year-old when my son was born, and (with a crazy cow milk supply) I was able to nurse him exclusively for 6 weeks, introduce pumped milk for 6 weeks, and continue that when returning to work. He stopped nursing when he was 13 months old. I’m expecting our third child around December 1, and I hope to be able to nurse him for the same amount of time; etc… before my 12 weeks of ‘vacation’ are finished and I return to teaching full-time in the classroom. It’ll be crazy, and if my option lands on formula, I would hope to have the opportunity to not be judged; either! I have to agree, cleaning bottles is the pits! Congratulations on two healthy girls!

  8. Briean says:

    You rock!!! You know what is best for your girls and you go with it. I cringe every time I have use the stupid pump and CANNOT wait to give it up. As moms we definitely put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect breastfeeders.

  9. foodiecology says:

    Major props to you for being honest about your feelings regarding breastfeeding and for attempting to do what you could. I’m pregnant with my first, and while I understand the nutritional (and financial!) benefits of breastfeeding as “best,” I honestly have NO IDEA how my body and baby will respond to my attempts or if I will even find it remotely enjoyable or tolerable. You have NOTHING to apologize for or be embarrassed about, although I can empathize and understand why you’d feel that way. I hope you’re able to continue looking forward and avoid feelings of guilt because it’s 100% clear you’re doing what’s best for your baby and yourself.

  10. Adriana says:

    Emma, don’t be embarrassed sweet lady. You love your kids and that’s what’s really important. I only breastfed my first for 7wks and he hated being at the breast so I also have him a bottle and switched to formula. My daughter loved the boob and we’re able to feed beyond a yr. Everyone is different and as mothers we should support each other. Keep up the great work!!

  11. Change of Pace says:

    I am not a mom so don’t understand the breastfeeding world (and from what I hear, people can be ultra judgemental), but I think if you do what’s best for you and baby, there is no shame in choosing formula!
    One of my girlfriends just made the decision to stop breastfeeding, and she felt so guilty. I don’t think women should be allowed to feel any guilt about it! You’re a supermom!

  12. Kim @ Fittin Pretty says:

    I love how you’re approaching this! No need to feel bad at all. There’s enough guilt in motherhood as it is, and Sutton’s going to be just fine! So true that the grandmas looooove when bottle feeding is an option too, haha. I’m lucky that I haven’t had problems with BFing and don’t mind it, but part of me is definitely jealous that you don’t have to deal with hiding the hooters in public, watching what you eat/drink (alcohol! haha), having to time workouts around feeding sessions, being baby’s ONLY source of sustenance and therefore being tethered to him/her, and all that other fun stuff…eesh, now that I’m writing it all out, I’m super jealous, haha. Enjoy the perks and don’t worry about those BFers…they need to get off their high horses sometimes. 🙂

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